Why? I breathed today, and I breathed yesterday, but I am writing today, but I did not yesterday. So, today is a better day than yesterday. I have also been thinking and breathing, so today is better than yesterday for another reason.
I better explain.
This week, my answers to questions 2 and 3 were inextricably linked at Andy’s Man Club. For those men who attend AMC, this may be a little confusing. Questions 1, 2, and 3 remain the same every week.
Question 1: How has your week been?
Question 2: What is one highlight of your week?
Question 3: Is there anything you want to get off your chest?
I was greedy and had two highlights for question 2, one of which was that I breathed on Monday. My answer to question 3 was also twofold, one of which was that I had not breathed for a while.
Since I realised that I suffered from anxiety, I have looked for ways to deal with it; one is breathing.
Just Breathe
Breathing exercises can help me calm down when anxiety kicks in. I have tried a few, but my go-to exercise is closing my eyes, taking a deep breath in for a proper count of five, and breathing out for the same proper count of five (one thousand, two thousand etm). Sometimes, I set a timer to do this for five minutes.
I have realised that I am usually at a constant level just below an anxiety attack, so I have set myself the goal of breathing when I am not anxious and to do this every day. The theory is that I lower my general level of anxiety. Setting such a goal was a leap, but achieving this goal has been difficult because of the constant weight of my newly diagnosed ADHD, where starting anything is challenging and continuing to do it is more demanding.
I have had a few bad weeks recently for several reasons, where the depression has come back with a vengeance, and where I have had a few panic attacks.
Getting it off my chest
What I got off my chest for question 3 at Monday night’s AMC was that I was angry and ashamed of myself that I had been so low and demotivated that I could not even be bothered to breathe for a few weeks.
I take my collie for long walks at a local beach or in the hills. I take a break at some stage. I have a bench up a mountain that I regularly stop at, and I get myself close to the water on the beach. Then, I set the timer and breathe.
Monday morning was the first time I had done this in several weeks; hence, it was one of the highlights of my week.
A work in progress
The regularity of my breathing exercises has been better this week. I forgot on Tuesday because the dog was at doggy daycare, but I remembered yesterday and today. Unfortunately, the gunfire scaring the dog during my breathing put paid to me doing it long enough today, but that’s a different story.
Cheers for reading
T
By the way, the use of ‘etm’ earlier was not a typo; it has a similar meaning to etc.
Go on, google it!